SItUatIoNs are irrelevant now.

Do you ever get that feeling when everythings happening at once and you get caught up in what other people want to do u that it just makes you crazy?  Im trying to get college plans in order im trying to get my life in order and it feels like nothings going right.  I dont wanna be pushed into a life i dont want just becuase its the easy way out.  I cant stand to live the way i see my family living..its not me and its boring and kinda pointless.  I dont want to do what my dad expects of me but im scared to just break out and do what i want. Im afraid of ending up with nothing.  Sometimes i just wanna scream...it shouldn't be this hard.  I want to do 20 different things at once and it feels like im being pulled in all different directions and im just going to tear apart one day.  I want life to mean something i want to be able to look back on it not have regrets. i want to be able say that i did exactly what i wanted and was happy with it.  i cant stay here.*